But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
