Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
