I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
