i permit you to call me
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
