Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
ok first of all what the fuck
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
