Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
