One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize
