can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
