u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
