this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
