I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
