just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
