I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
