Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
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