Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
