I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
