does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
two words...techno handjob
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
