Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
