Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
