Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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