if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
its not stalking. its research.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
