i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
