I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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