he was CRYING into my vagina
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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