I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
