Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
