That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
