what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
