This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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