I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
