When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I could make wine with my vomit
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
