i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
