i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize