I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
