I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Someone shattered a urinal.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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