I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
