in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
