ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
