Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
