sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
