That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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