Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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