I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
