I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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