Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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