is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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