Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
