Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
Randomize
