Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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