I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
