He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
do nipples grow back?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
