So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I could have mohawked her pubes.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
