i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
