Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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