We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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