The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
